RSS feedI had to stop at a servo today to get some milk, and the conversation with the guy behind the till goes like this:
Ya lose a bet?
Gee, haven’t heard that one for a while.
No, your hair’s blue. What’s the occasion?
It’s always blue.
Wow, what does your boss say?
I’m the boss.
[ laughs ] Here ya go mate, have a good day!
…
Of course it depends on the part of town. In Newtown for example, nobody bats an eyelid, and if they do, it’s ’cause they’re thinking…
Geez, all the same colour, why would you bother?
Anyway, if you bump into someone with coloured hair, and you think you have a classic opening line which will cause them to fall to the floor instantly and die in pain from the hilarity of your sharpened wit, think again, because we’ve heard them all before. Here’s the top openers for males:
- You lose a bet?
- What’s the occasion?
- Who are you going for?
- Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!
- How about them blues last night! (insert sporting team here)
- You clean the toilet yesterday?
- Why’d you colour your hair blue?
- Dickhead!
Degrading sure, but most neanderthals tend to leave you alone if you then spit back at them:
Yeah mate, chicks get off on it.
And accordingly, the truth hurts when the top openers for women are:
- Hey, love your hair!
- What a great blue!
- Didn’t you used to have red?
- I wish I could do that!
- Which blue is that?
- Where’d you get that blue?
- Can I come home with you, and have your children?
Well, I made that last one up, but it’s the thought that counts.