Richard BF

As part the maturing process, I’ve begun the journey from angry young punk, frustrated with the stupidity of the human race, to the more tolerant and hopefully partially wise old man, frustrated with the stupidity of the human race. All this really means is that my rants are tending to shift from the angry to the amused. Human beings are never going to stop being stupid, evolution is clearly working with us on this, so we each do our own little bit, then move on. So here’s my little bit, before I move on… on Telstra and Krispy Kreme. 🙂

I’ve spoken before about the intelligence behind bringing Krispy Kreme to our (now becoming less than) fine country, and how they blur the lines between fundraising and charity, especially through our schools. If you were in Sydney these past six months, you’d think that Krispy Kreme invented the doughnut, and were the first to bake them in Australia, which goes nicely with the myth that kangaroos regularly hop down George St. in the middle of Sydney’s CBD.

Here’s a great example from early 2004 of how they enter new markets. Strangely titled NEWINGTON — The illuminated red, neon light outside a Krispy Kreme can only mean one thing: There are freshly made, hot doughnuts in the store, you’d be excused for thinking this newspaper article was in fact an advertisement.

Telstra of course, I’ve spoken about before, with their Sensis search engine, and the Twelve Days of Telstra it took to transfer my ADSL connection.

So imagine my delight when I started hearing about the decline and fall of Krispy Kreme. Krispy Kreme crisis increases losses is probably the most appropriate reporting of the story, from a baking industry rag, but if you want some rather amusing headlines, you can’t go past Google News for 1570 negative news stories about krispy kreme. Here’s a few literary stand outs:

• Krispy Kreme losing its glaze
  International Herald Tribune, France
• Krispy Kreme watches its sweet run turn sour
  Chicago Tribune, IL
• Investors blast holes in Krispy Kreme stock
  Houston Chronicle, TX
• Souring profit fries Krispy Kreme
  Sun-Sentinal.com, FL
• A hole in Krispy Kreme’s earnings
  CNN International
• Krispy-Kreme is Getting Harder to Stomach
  TheStreet.com, NY
• Krispy Kreme Earnings Not So Sweet
  9NEWS.com, CO
• SEC Inquiry Weighs On Krispy Kreme
  Forbes, NT
• Krispy Kreme in new sticky mess
  BBC News, UK
• Krispy Kreme has $3m hole
  Telegraph.co.uk

You can’t beat the UK press on headlines and triple entendres, although I’m sure there’s more plays on the doughnut theme waiting in the wings.

Finally, what made my week, and I apologise for the quite verbose preamble just to get to this gag, was when I stumbled across the web advertisement pictured here. And I can’t help but quote:

Telstra IP is helping Krispy Kreme make dough

I love you guys! Where do I sign my company up?